Why is it that the commitment and the proclamations of love and devotion only seem to come from the guys you don’t want and not the ones you do?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life” Quiz right now and find out if you’re sabotaging your love life, and if you need to get out of your own way…
MORE: The Number One Reason Men Suddenly Lose Interest As I said, when you have an agenda, you are engaging with the thoughts in your head, and not with the person in front of you.
If we can get the guy, then we’re validated, we’re worthy of love, we have succeeded.
If we can’t get him to want us, then there is something wrong with us; we are flawed and unlovable. You meet a guy who has a set of qualities that you want in a man and you make it your mission to have him.
There was Craig the writer; he reached out to me about doing guest columns for some leading publications and then we went on a few dates. We went out on about five dates and on the first date, I stupidly left my keychain wallet in my apartment, locking myself out and leaving me without any cash or cards for the entire night.
In addition to getting a career boost, he was also a fantastic guy. ) just to say hi, he never left me hanging, he eagerly talked about me meeting his friends and family, he absolutely adored me, but ehh … There was Tom (not his real name because I actually can’t remember his real name, but I assure you he’ll never forget mine! He did sound production for Broadway plays and he was really cute and cool. He stared at me like I was some divine being and wanted so badly for me to fall in love with him at the same rate he was falling for me. He was a total gem and stayed out with me until 2 a.m. Our dates were always great and he was a wonderful guy who thought I was the smartest unicorn on the planet, but no, not him.
He was sexy, he was aloof, he was lost, and I had to get in there, to know what was going on in that head of his. We shared a passionate kiss and I floated home on a cloud, I could not wait for my new love to return from the West Coast. It was probably my first relationship where the levels of interest were equally reciprocated and it marked my full recovery from wanting guys who didn’t want me.