He said throwing a tissue away as he is throwing his phone on the bed. So I reach down and he is exposed and erect so I was like “yeah, you’re really throwing something away.” We fought, he took his phone and slammed it on the ground and shattered it then had me (5 months pregnant) shoved up on the wall yelling at me because I caught him.
I couldn’t trust him and I still can’t trust him because I’ve caught him on it multiple times after.
It’s difficult for me to state that he has physically committed adultery if there is no proof of him doing it, for example, you have and see for yourself what your husband is doing when you aren’t around but make sure to gather your evidence first before you approach him because it sounds like he will most certainly get angry and irrational.
He says he is too tired to have sex when I want to or he just flat out says “no! Dear Confused & Hurt, First and foremost, any man that lays a hand on a pregnant woman is no respectable man. Getting defensive is a good indication you are not being told the truth.
I can definitely understand your trust issues, especially when you have indicated to him that what he is doing is inappropriate and he is still continuing his in your marriage.
There are plenty of websites and forums that provide support and hope; Google “infidelity forum” to find a group where you can share your thoughts and fears. When you find a new partner, create boundaries and rules together.
For instance, you may both decide to share cell-phone passwords, or agree not to call each other at certain times on workdays due to the nature of the business. You are going to mistrust your new partner at times, but you have to communicate and let them know what you’re feeling and why. Your new partner is innocent until proven guilty, and being wrongfully accused of cheating over and over will eventually drive most people away – or at least put a strain on the relationship. Many infidelity survivors say they were never the same after being cheated on – it follows them forever.
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