" and What if the prospect of finding an ever-more-compatible mate with all the tap of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, in which we keep chasing the elusive bunny across the dating track?
" While there is not much special quantitative data on the dating game numbers, it is clear that men and women would like to take control of their own lives, it seems like the next step in their play to generate their own individualities --- this cuts through the 'small town' integuement where most online 'dating' would mean a marriage arranged through online matrimonial sites.
When this technology came along that offered to help, I think part of the backlash against it was a bit of insecurity, of saying, No, I do not need any help, I can do this hunt on my own.
If I admit I want help from technology or a matchmaker it means I wasn't capable to do it myself." What is intriguing, paradoxically, is that right in the moment when we theoretically needed help with matchmaking, we sort of turned away from it.
The arguments were varied --- that people use dating sites for love, not sex , that the experience of it makes them long even more for obligation , that online dating isn't nearly as interesting as Slater's specialists suggest, that modern relationships would be done a service" by reducing the pressure to be monogamous and that Slater relied too heavily on the one-sided source of online dating executives to support his thesis and failed to contain quotations from any women, not to mention queer folks.
All exceptionally valid points --- but the book itself, Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating," is really more nuanced, objective, wide ranging and inclusive.
The framing shifted it from a dialogue about how new accessibility to folks online seems to change at least one well-established determinant of devotion, and how that can lead to both better relationships and a decrease in dedication, to a discussion about the demise of monogamy.