” and “How long have you known your closest friend?
” “If your date responds by saying, ‘I’ve known my best friend since kindergarten,’ or ‘I have a dog and a cat and an apartment full of plants,’ then you can be pretty secure that your date doesn’t have any major commitment issues.” “Ask your date an innocent question like where they spent their childhood to gain some insight in their upbringing and their family situation,” suggests Margaux Cassuto, relationship expert and founder of matchmaking service Three Matches.
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It might feel like bad form to ask something like this, but it may provide helpful hints about what your date is really looking for.
“Most single people are using apps nowadays, but if somebody isn’t, it can be a sign that they are not looking for a relationship,” says Isabel James, matchmaker and founder of Elite Dating Managers. Ok Cupid and users are usually looking for something more serious than Tinder, Bumble, and Grindr users.” Worried the first date is too soon to ask this? “This is just something so fundamental, so before any feelings start flying, you want to know if the person does (or doesn’t) intend on sharing their life with other people who will arguably becoming a greater priority than you.” “Hearing about someone’s future goals can give you an idea of how compatible you might be,” Morin says. “Understanding things they hope to do down the road gives you a glimpse of that person’s hopes, dreams, and passions.” “Don’t be afraid to ask if they are looking for a long-term relationship with the right person,” says Laney Zukerman, relationship coach and author. It’s important you know from the start that if the pieces of the puzzle fit, they are open to that.” Whether you love travel or you’re a total homebody, this question is a must.
Does their dream vacation sound like a nightmare to you? “If someone is a workaholic or they just don’t enjoy planning vacations, you may learn something valuable,” Safran says.
“This question doesn’t probe too much, but does give you an idea if you are dealing with someone that shares your view of leisure and travel.” “If you’re looking for someone who will center you, you’re going to want to know how much they value time with others and how much alone time they’ll need,” Lioi says.
“If you get a sense that they have a routine, but one that leaves room for flexibility and fun, then you may get insight that this person could be worth that second date.” And if you’re staring down a second date, don’t miss these 40 irresistible second date ideas.